By any other name...

Mysterious Child's Mom writes again.


Last summer I bought several rose plants. My intention was that I would have climbing roses to cover a trellis and make some shade in my yard. One of the roses I bought was planted for several weeks before I realized something was wrong.
Well, not wrong exactly.. but NOT what I had expected.

First clue, a bud opened and a flaming red rose came out... it was supposed to be white. The rose itself was small and there were many of them... my climbing rose was supposed to have large, strongly scented roses... this one had no smell.

Over time I realized that it wasn't a climber at all. It was a bush, low to the ground and fat. NOT what I expected, but I've gotten so many beautiful roses from my unexpected surprise. I couldn't expect it to grow up the side of the house and produce shade for me in my old age. I had to adjust my thinking about this rose.

Why does anyone bother to plant Roses? They are thorny. They need to be pruned. Though beautiful, they attract bees and did I mention they're thorny?

We buy them, because they are so beautiful, some are fragrant, some are long lasting, all have thorns. All need some care and pruning.

How is it with Roses .. we can overlook the thorns and focus on the color, the smell, the graceful flowers and somehow work around those thorns?

Don't we come prepared with armored gloves, sharp snippers and fully charged up on coffee? Don't we expect to have to face the thorns? Don't we just assume that will be part of the raising of a Rose?

My son is as sweet... even by a different name. In a way each of my children are Roses...
Some have a nice fragrance.
Some have beautiful color.
Some are graceful.
ALL have Thorns and need a little pruning.
Some times we don't get what we expected. Maybe not what we planned for, but a Rose is still a Rose ... thorns and all...

I'm gonna try to keep focusing on the flower...
not the thorns.

I'll try to prepare myself to deal with the maintenance of my "rose" by bringing in the tools necessary. I'll try to be well rested and well advised and patient.

Because Roses are lovely.

Son of my Joy

Mysterious Child's Mom writes again.

In the Biblical Story of Jacob; his wife Rachel dies soon after her second son is born and says to name him "Benjamin .. son of my joy". I have chosen to call my son that in these blogs because I have often thought it was the perfect name for him.
Not only was he long awaited, wanted and an answer to my mother's heart ... he was such a funny, silly, lovely child .. and still is.

People who know our family .. know that Ben is usually the child that brings laughter and drama to our lives. The stories of his antics will show up from time to time in my blogs. It's usually him ... he's the one who brings joy to many. He's funny. He's dramatic. He's expressive. He's sensitive and a child of joy.

Sounds wonderful, right?
Yeah... not always. This is about real life. He brings me alot of worry. He sometimes knows something is different and he gets depressed. He has feelings of insecurity and fear that raise their ugly heads at the most inopportune times.

Doctors are quick to say... meds. I resist.. I want him to be who he's created to be.. not a flat, controlled version. I like who he is, mostly. I search for what is right for him ... I will try many things.

I try to focus on the positive in his life ...
he is Benjamin.

The Mystery Begins....

Mysterious Child's Mom writes again.

The perfect baby boy, didn't come home with us. He had changed. It took us some time to figure out it wasn't a flu or being tired or normal baby issues.

We started to notice that he wasn't trying to speak. We use American Sign Language at home (ASL) so we thought he was just doing well at that. We noticed he couldn't walk up or down slopes. His ability to understand when he was dizzy was somehow limited to when he'd spun so long he couldn't even lift his head. He had a strange facination with tactile surfaces... licking screen doors, phones and such. He reacted in panic to other feelings like vasaline or mushy peas. Gagged on foods that were soft and wet.

He loved his soother (nuk) and when he was upset he calmed immediately with aid of it. He dragged his blanket everywhere for security and it seemed to have such drastic calming effect.

All of these "quirks" started to poke and prod at our hearts. Slowly, dawning on us, maybe there was something different about our baby boy. Parents don't want to entertain that thought... so we made excuses. After a time, we started to look into what the "quirks" were from.

A new path, a strange place, the beginning.